I don't know what to tell you guys. Man.

The only thing I can offer you guys is art later this month. I've been drawings bits here and there but I try not to get too distracted over lecture because I'll always see something interesting and then start jotting it down. Then I get too into it and then whoops lecture is over. This used to happen all the time when I was sit around ad draw and forget the time and miss the bus. There's some fun fanart that I think you guys will like. I like it too. I'm just really rough right now. I really, really need to get some discipline in.

My Calculus test that was supposed to be in a few weeks got moved to next Monday, so I've been studying like mad since then. I originally wanted to enter the Lost Saga fanart contest and have a sketch done during the short break I had before calculus-- before I heard about the moved up test. :,3 No time for that now. The good news is that we no longer have a final. It's just been tough because I absolutely need at least an 80% on this. At this point I'm sure I can pass it, but I need need need need need to do very well.

I've been very tired. On Wednesday, I drove to school in a rush thinking I had class at 2:30-- but I have class at 3:00. I've always had class at that time on Wednesdays since August. I didn't realize until I was about to go on the 5-S. I made a quick U-turn and got home to grab some money to deposit, because I've been putting off little chores here and there to do calculus studying. I get to the bank quick, fill the forms, and hop in the line. Two tellers, and only one woman ahead of me. Unfortunately, both people at the tellers had problems so I ended up being there a lot longer than expected, and was back on the road at 2:35. No big, I thought, because I usually leave home around 2:20 and get there in time.

Holy shit there was traffic. I didn't know fifteen minutes could make such a difference in road conditions, because the 5-S was super clogged up. The 57-S was fine though, but it was still too late. I got on campus at 3:20, and the class gets out around 3:30. We usually do review problems at the end of class, but having missed lecture I would have a hard time with them. I decided to go to Activity Lab early and go back to studying Calculus while I waited for the class to finish. The TA came in and I asked him if there was a quiz, and he said he's pretty sure there's no quiz but he can see that our professor had logged on. But it's probably nothing. Marc texted me so I met up with him, and we had Chipotle because he was starving and had no money. (I had a coupon that we used.) After that, we studied in the computer lab until class started. It was good that we had review though, but today I found out from Kevin (while copying his notes) that there WAS a quiz in Chem and that it was extremely easy. D: Auuuugh free points, basically. He told me that Professor Ashcroft is thinking of dropping... nine quizzes, though. Which is good. I'm confident I can get a B in this class-- but I don't think I can raise it to an A by the end of the semester. Not satisfied.

Meanwhile for Biology, I'm fine. I have a 98% for lab. I'm just worried about Calculus, and it frustrated me to find out that I had missed a quiz for Chem. I had fun hanging out with Katrina today for a brief period, though. On Tuesday, we found out that Daniel hadn't eaten in two days so we went out to eat with him and watched him eat. I told him not to let his body crash, and he keeps insisting that he'll be fine. He skipped a midterm. That's pretty bad.

I'm really, really tired. Things happened on Sunday too which led me to starting the week exhausted, though my mood did get perked up a bit by seeing some messages from Lou. Other than the few times I've been with my friends, it's all been study. I take frequent naps and get eight hours of sleep to make sure I'm in good condition to study, and have been eating full meals. I think I'm gaining weight, but I didn't hit the gym because I'm so busy studying. D: It's pretty bad.

It's rather sad that I was actually relieved to hear that Lou had a dentist appointment tomorrow, so he won't be available till later in the afternoon. My first thought was, "I can do more studying." It wasn't a happy or sad thought. Just the acknowledgment that with those short extra hours I should be able to get more studying done, and that I will. My plan is to do the review chapter in the textbook tomorrow, and if I can do that I should be fine. (Dear god my vision just kind of flickered. Scared the crap out of me.) Then on Monday morning I will wake up early, eat a good, hearty breakfast, and review again. After Chemistry, I'll review during Chem's Activity Lab, and then during the short break before Calculus, and then hopefully go downstairs to my Calculus classroom well prepared. The professor said he'll put up a study guide Friday or Saturday evening. I'll probably pounce on that too and look over it during the weekend during brief moments while I rest up so I don't crash on Monday.

I just need this grade so bad. Auuugh oh my god.

I felt bad today talking to Lou because I wanted to be goofy with him, but he was mellow and serious. So I felt like I was just being a pain. Marc too. This is Marc's second time talking Calculus and we're still at the point where he was doing fine in the class, so he's not sweating anything because he's learned it twice. He can get a bit condescending at times about me not understanding things. Daniel told me not to mind, because he tutored Marc a lot the first time Marc was talking Calc and that apparently it took Marc hours to understand things and it was frustrating-- like pulling teeth. So he said that Marc shouldn't really have that attitude towards others when he himself had a hard time at first, too. It made me feel a bit better, and I liked that I was able to explain things for Marc a few times this week. Shows that all the studying is showing.

I feel stretched thin.

I wanted to write on Over Coffee and Tea about something too, but I have to put it off until after this test. There was something else, too. Katrina and I today started naming things that have changed since high school. I want to write about that also. It came up after I said that I don't think people change all that much at their core-- I think I'm still largely the same person I was when she first met me in middle school, albeit less moody, cold, and mean as I was often described. (Negativity should never be mistaken for maturity or realism, by the way. I was just a kid. I'm still just a kid in many ways.) I even had to cancel a lunch date today. I feel awful about that.

Things will get better. I'm not going to snap or anything. I'm just incredibly fatigued and it would do me wonders if I could...







I just wish I had someone I could relax with, but right now I don't. I just feel like a burden.

BRB. Life keeps calling me no matter how much I ignore the phone. I think it's at the door now. Where's my shotgun?

WOW LJ I AM SO SORRY, YOU'VE BEEN NEGLECTED, BOOOOOO!! I haven't been very good at gathering my thoughts lately. Twitter's been a better outlet, surely. But so much has been going on lately, you deserve an update!

( updates from Hetalia-land )

( Halloween and stuff )

Aside from all the fun in my life, I've also been coming to grips with the cold hard reality of living away from my parents in the past couple weeks. It's quickly dawned on me that I have little to no money, especially once I buy a car (which is very soon. The moment I pick one out, likely this weekend, it's mine and I'm officially broke). Roommate situation has Beth and I spending a lot more to stay where we are, and the threat of expensive insurance lies on the horizon. I've been having a hard time keeping myself fed and an even harder time justifying the amount of money I spend on my hobbies. I'm asking for plane tickets to my respective 2010 cons (Katsucon, Fanime) from my family as Christmas/birthday gifts, since really I don't need any gifty things these days (I'm up to my ears in videogames and such), and I would be extremely heartbroken if I couldn't make it to these conventions, y'know? I've started doing commissions at my Deviantart in hopes of raising a little bit of extra money on the side to.. you know, feed myself.

The good news is that I'm getting more hours at work through the end of the year, since I have good numbers, my Manager is aware of my plight, and we have huge game releases/holiday shoppers on their way. So things can only get better from here and I'm trying to stay optimistic! I gotta learn to cut back on my splurging so I can afford to still keep myself happy ♥!

Ontop of all this, though, I've been feeling more alone than ever. I've noticed a rash of loneliness these days. There must be something in the air (no, not H1N1), that's making everyone want someone else to hold and be happy with. Weird, isn't it? Honestly I don't know that I'm ever the type who could ever be good at a dating situation, but having someone to give affection and get that affection in return...? it's sounding real appealing. At the very least, having someone to care about would give my self-esteem a much needed boost. These days I feel like an unwanted little hermit half the time! ahaha.

HOPEFULLY by the next entry, I'll have a car of my very own, and more fun times to report!

-Moogs

p.s.-oh god my vital regions, stop that, Russia

HELLO THERE ,

A VERY FUN PERSON (THISISTONY IN LJ) ASKED ME TO DRAW ACE WITH FACIAL HAIR. SO I DREW HIM AS A LIBRARIAN. WHICH WAS RANDOM YES.

I HAD DRAWN HIM WITH STUBBLE, BUT SHE WANTED BEARD. SO I CHANGED IT QUICKLY!! I THEN GAVE HER 2 OPTIONS:
( BEARDS. )

AMAZINGLY
MIRACULOUSLY

Something that isn't related to Persona 4 or even Atlus for that matter

BEHOLD:

Alas, it is the only unrelated thing!

The remaining 5 images are all junk, incomplete, and the characters featured may be missing limbs due to laziness on part of the person who drew them, gosh, how could anyone even--

Also there are some homo/selfcest shenanigans, so if that isn't your thing...

( I'm just sayin' )

I would make it so that I could eat all the candy I want and never get fat, diabetes, or cavities. What? I don't WANT to be responsible.

alkdsfhsdf I'M SO DAMN HUNGRY. And I don't get off of work until 9:00. Long night. =(

I used a power sander and my fingers are buzzing. I love the speed of those things, but oh, I hate the feeling they leave.

In other news, screw Maine.

Enjoy this kid dancing to a nintendo music





Goodtimes

I'd spend the entire night enacting the escape I'd planned in advance. I would then find a hidden legendary treasure on a deserted island and begin to construct my revenge against those who... wait.

Failed to do any daily paintings, but here's the quick pic from Livestream yesterday.
Guh. So hard to stop myself from singing with the music while I work ;__; No LS until I solve this >O



Bigger version on pixiv.

Warning: Igor and bara!Yosuke. uhm.
( Doujin ramblings and halloween shenenigans )

YOUMACON 2009, IT SHALL FOREVER BE REMEMBERED.

HERE'S THE ONE PIECE PHOTO SHOOT PICS, AND THEY ARE WONDERFULLY CAPSLOCK WORTHY!

BY THE WAY, THIS IS A HORRIBLY DIAL-UP, SLOW COMPUTER UNFRIENDLY POST. PICS UP THE WAZOO!

( GO FORTH, MY CHILD! )

I'm about to start NaNo-ing, and thanks to DST, I've got an extra hour (kinda haha). So yay. <3 I'll probably end up sharing my fanfic when I complete whole chunks or chapters, so keep an eye out, especially if you like Dragon Ball.

Anyway, I also have an advertisement for a new anime/manga social networking and multi-purpose site, complete with an absolutely adorable anime/manga-based avatar system. It's brand new and still expanding, so now is a great time to jump on the bandwagon! Check it out if you're interested.

Otherwise, I saw a horrible movie tonight at the campus cinema; the main character killed a cat who looked exactly like Nova when we first got her. Needless to say, ~WE WERE NOT AMUSED.~ I love horror movies but I forgot how badly some of them suck when they take ridiculousness over the top. Merf.

Are you around the Bay Area next weekend? Do you love animals? Berkeley Humane Society is putting on an arts and crafts auction with all benefits going to the shelter. In the past lots of great local artists, including folk from Pixar, have donated art for this show. This is my piece. The info is here:

Evening Auction: November 7, 2009, 7:00-9:30pm (bidding ends at 9pm!)

Craft Fair: November 8, 2009, 12:00-4:00 pm.

Location:
1809 4th Street
Berkeley, CA 94710
(next to Bette's Diner)

More info on this website.

Happy Halloween!

[p.s. Thanks to everyone who responded to my last post! I didn't reply to all of them but I've taken all your comments to heart. After talking to a few more people about raw milk I chickened out a little, so I'm just ruminating on it for now. :) ]